Racked off

Tesco: Always noted for their attention to detail… image spotted on Digitalspy, posted by L.P. Robinson.

So, the Tesco Brownhills turd polishknown by Tesco fans as a ‘refresh’ – has apparently concluded. We have nice new wooden benches for the drunks, vagrants and teens; charming flower beds, new signage and a patched-up car park. The store has had a lick of paint, and everything smells of new plastic, including the olives on the new deli counter. Designers even went to the extent of erecting costly wooden fencing around the perimeter of the site, in what is a presumed to be an attempt to hide Ravens Court, lest the denizens of Brownhills remember the fact that the now derelict central precinct was supposed to be site of a new store, long since abandoned.

There’s just one snag – there’s still nowhere for cyclists to park their steeds. Tesco Brownhills remains the only major supermarket in the area without a single cycle parking space or facility. I rarely shop there except out of necessity, and when I do, I park my bike in the porch, where it marks the shiny new white paint and looks untidy. Hardly a good solution.

I’m not the only person to notice this. Fellow Brownhills cyclist Lee Slater took the initiative, and asked on the Tesco Brownhills Facebook page on the 19th July if there would be any cycle racks.


Lee received no reply. The curator of the page, known simply as ‘Tesco Brownhills’ continued to broadcast the good retail news, soullessly gushing over relaunches and point-of-sale fluff. Lee was clearly ignored.

Not to be deterred, Lee asked again on the 23rd of July


Lee was told the racks were on order, in a post which demonstrated the wholly innovative approach of the store, not just to retail but to the wholesale bastardisation of the English language.

Several weeks passed with nothing said, and I thought I’d keep the issue live. After all, I don’t want my bike nicked, and I really don’t enjoy marking the lovely porch paintwork. I asked again on the 12th August. Nothing.

I have asked again today. I find this bizarre; I know Tesco have a dismissive attitude to cyclists – the remote and somewhat bizarre position of racks at the new Walsall showcase store demonstrates their contempt admirably – but isn’t our money as good as anyone else’s?

Just in case the retail behemoth is having trouble procuring the hardware, there are models available in stock at the following companies:

Bike Dock Solutions


ESE Direct


I’d point out that most cyclists prefer Sheffield Stands to the weedier and awkward ‘wheel bender’ style, but anything is better than what we have now.

Tesco: get your act together, please.

How to do it: Sheffield stands as applied at Waitrose in Lichfield.

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7 Responses to Racked off

  1. If you want to take the most profit out of a town with the least investment in that town this seems to be a perfectly logical calculation to me – what is the average value of shopping put in a car boot against that balanced on a bike crossbar?

    I think ‘Tesco Brownhills’ has done the sums…..

  2. Trevor Brown says:

    Here in oz we had a advert for Telstra Yellow Pages someone did not have the phone number entered in it, the catchphrase from the unhappy customer became, NOT HAPPY JAN, try shouting from the rooftops old mate

  3. Peter says:

    Tesco’s or any of the large supermarkets aren’t interested in what you think! They are only interested in people who don’t think, they only want people through their doors who believe what they say. The clever people in these organisations are the ones you don’t see in the store, the ones who come up with the clever marketing strategys that fool people into believeing their getting a good deal, remember Tesco’s and the other supermarkets are all run by accountants who’s only interest is the bottom line and what dividends they pay themselves at the end of the year. Tesco’s and the others do not exist for our benefit but for their own benefit.

  4. Pingback: Parking for one bicycle… « BrownhillsBob's Brownhills Blog

  5. r nuttall says:

    I have read all the posts re. Tesco and cycle racks and I have actually looked for and found the pathetic effort outside the front door on the pavement edge.
    To see how a cycle facility for visitors should really look you need only cycle along Lichfield Rd to the last building on your left before the canal. Castings PLC have provided their staff with a superb facility. It is a very strong structure the shape of a small ‘nissen hut ‘. But the frame is solid and painted to match the factory building. It is completely roofed with clear plastic sheeting (?) and therefore has all round weather protection. And, proper parking for what looks like about 30 plus bikes. It’s ‘champion’ as they would say where I come from. The only sad reflection of our times is that they have had to stick a security fence round with a padlock. No doubt, opened at start/finish time or shift changes or on demand by request.As I don’t have the facility, perhaps you could arrange a quick photo for posterity if you think fit and for all to see, particularly someone in authority from Tesco. By the way, I am an observer purely from travelling Lichfield Rd regularly – I am nothing to do with Castings PLC.

  6. Jenny says:

    Brownhills Walsall has had a up lift. Don’t think so it’s rubbish an shabby compared to other tescos. Carpark is still tatty. Pictures on the windows omg danger there are nails sticking out for kids to cut them selves. Poor baby changing. Lack of trollies for people with 2 baby’s. An no way of processing your photos like in other shops. All in all can’t wait to get my car an go shopping else where.

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