Look, this isn’t nice, I know, but it has to be said. Some scally out there is concealing a body, and no good will come of it…

I'm sorry if you're squeamish, but it needs saying. Coppice Lane, Brownhills. 3:08pm, Sunday 10th October 2010.

Whilst taking a spin on a fine Sunday afternoon, I noted with some surprise, and great sadness, that a young red deer hind had been apparently struck by a vehicle in Coppice Lane, Brownhills. The body had been dragged to the side of the lane just before the corner where the lane joins Coppice Side, adjacent to the former Leigh Interests landfill site. As soon as I could, I reported the location of the carcass in a fixmystreet report, which alerted Walsall Council to come and collect it. The dead creature was already beginning to swell and would soon present an unpleasant health hazard if not dealt with.

Walsall promptly sent out a team to collect the cervine cadaver at about 2pm on the 11th October,  the following day, only to find it had vanished. I thank the team concerned for their prompt, excellent service.

Lets not beat about the bush here, if you’re offered cheap venison in the next week or so, think about it carefully. This deer, like many in the locality, has been living on the vegetation growing on the ex-landfill, formerly used for industrial waste. It’s been lying dead in the road on a sunny day for an indeterminate length of time. I think it’s safe to say it was probably a bit gamey by the time it was appropriated.

It’s a good idea to watch out for deer on the roads around Brownhills as deer can do a lot of damage when hit. They’re to heavy and tend to go through windscreens, so take care. They’re heavy creatures and will trash your car, and very possibly kill you in the process. There’s not a lot of road sense in your average deer, and they move quickly.

Just saying, like.