Hello Ian. I see you’ve been carpet-bombing the local press again with your latest work, a dismal why-oh-why whinge, a pathetic attempt at Dickensian fictional imagery that fell someway short of a penny dreadful. I won’t repeat it here, because that would be counterproductive. For those not averse to rooting in their recycling bins, that’ll be the letters page in the Express & Star of 6th December 2010, or the previous week’s Walsall Chronicle, the editor of which had the sense to edit out the more florid bits of a remarkably turgid missive.
All I’d like to say is this: If you hate Walsall so much, then fuck off back to Lichfield. Even if all you did there was moan about the place. It may surprise you that I don’t actually care what you do, but your lazy, invective laden, self-regarding drivel really does lower the generally very high comedic lunacy standards of local paper letters pages.
Isn’t it time you got back to writing fawning, tedious celebrity claptrap, anyway?
Thanks, that’s all.