Az she iz spokkin…

Tired of being hemmed in by poor weather, I went for a stroll today… walking down a deserted Brownhills High Street, I noticed that there has been a death in the town. No need to call the police, however, as the victim seems to be the English language. The murder seems to be terribly brutal. It’s hard enough to teach kids their mother tongue today, without some of these fine examples of emporium nomenclature…

Is this a nickname perhaps? Maybe it's just a carcrash between 'naan' and 'pizza'

Is this a nickname perhaps? Maybe it's just a car crash between 'naan' and 'pizza'?

Plural abuse. Please stop it. Now, if possible.

Plural abuse. Please stop it. Now, if possible.

I don't know if there is any connection between these two emporia, or if the numerical nonsense is just a happy accident.

I don't know if there is any connection between these two establishments - perhaps the numerical nonsense is just a happy accident. Maybe the owners will meet and fall in love, resulting in the birth of a whole sentence.

I’d like to point out that the store on the left, above, was formerly the ‘Renaissance 99p Store’, and that the current proprietor is clearly taking no chances – issuing a bold disclaimer on the sign like that helps avoid those embarrassing ‘is it or isn’t it?’ cheap tat moments.

Even national chains are not exempt.

Even national chains are not exempt.

I've no idea what was going on here - I wonder if the owner of this tango parlour intended it to be pronounced as in Yahtzee?

I've no idea what was going on here - I wonder if the owner of this particular tango parlour intended it to be pronounced like Yahtzee?

Oh, by the way – I know my use of the mother tongue is hardly exemplary, either… but then, I don’t have it made into a two-foot high illuminated sign and erected in the High Street. If I ever do, I’ll take advice, thanks.

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4 Responses to Az she iz spokkin…

  1. The Edditer says:

    Bob, I sympathise with your consternation. We have to suffer many crap shop signs, wrongly-spelled or otherwise, in Bloxwich too.

    At least our High Street isn’t as long as yours – last time I walked down Brownhills High Street it was positively painful – to both eyes and feet!

    Keep up the good work,

    – The Edditer

  2. stymaster says:

    Why did I just *know* Shadze of Bronze would feature?

    I’m sure there’s more. Brownhills has a particularly rich crop.

  3. lisa says:

    Maybe the local populus are just a ‘shadze’ thicker in Brownhills … sorry I couldn’t help myself !!

  4. Dave Edwards says:

    Tantastic sounds better…do’ ya’ think!?

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