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Hey! Malpas! It’s not big, and it’s not clever…

Hey, I was a teenager in the 1980’s. I grew up within a culture that recognised and appreciated street art. I Think Banksy is a genius, and Goldie wasn’t half bad, either. Chu is a local treasure. There’s just something going on around Brownhills at the moment and it’s really, really beginning to irritate me. There’s clearly been a resurgence in tagging, and there seems to be a bit of a battle going on between the yoots of Brownhills and Walsall Wood, which appears to delimit at Clayhanger Bridge. There’s one particular tagger, signing himself ‘Malpas’ who seems to think that quantity makes up for a complete lack of any creative urge whatsoever. What really annoys me is that nobody would choose the nickname ‘Malpas’, it has to be a given name – so he’s not even intelligent enough to mask his identity. He often appears with a mate, ‘Mitch’, who seems to be even more devoid of calligraphic talent.

There’s no street art to this, it’s just testosterone-driven territorial urination. At least the old timers used to do art. Anyone remember the weetabix characters on the back of the garages at the top of the parade?

My request to ‘Malpas’ is a simple one: cut it out. I’m sure you’re a big man and everything, but why not direct your energies into creating something to earn yourself some respect rather than vandalising the fabric of Brownhills with your scrawl? I, like many other residents, couldn’t give a toss how hard you are, how much respec’ yo got, or how big your digit is; as long as you keep desecrating our environment – however unlovely it is – I’ll continue to think of you as being a complete wanker, OK?

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